Are you telling me that I could research and find out how to tell why he's depressed?? If I thought he was, I would just ask him outright what was wrong, albeit in a kind and caring way. Probably not the best approach, but the best I've got. I'm not really sure that he is. If he is, it sure doesn't affect his life in a visible way, at least not anything I would recognize as depression (lethargy, sadness, inability to get about of bed, lack of enjoyment of hobbies, disinterest in sex, lack of performance at work, isolation from friends, etc.) So that doesn't even provide a target behavior to inquire about.
The LL list we did was more specific. Frankly, I liked it better. For example, he doesn't need quality time, just quantity time (re: recreational companionship.) I think this changes, though. I think we need almost all of them, and if you're getting one and not another, suddenly your "need" is different. I also remember years ago when we did it the first time, we had discussions that the LL you give doesn't necessarily match the LL you like to receive, which complicates it further. I'll just assume you're looking for what he likes to receive, and I would say quality (quantity) time first, and words of affirmation second.
