I am new to this site. I have been married for 16 yrs, this is a second marriage for both us of. in oct 11 we started having arguements, which this was the first time during our marriage this happened. Each month oct, nov, dec and jan it would happen around a 3 day weekend and my husband would leave and spend the night in a hotel. I soon figured out he was having an affair with a 21yr - mind you we have 5 children between us (including 2 who are 21 yr) my husband is 54. He from the first time we talked in Oct he stated he felt we were beyond counseling but neither of us moved toward divorce and for me this is not an option. We have a good marriage up until this happened. well on 14 feb he moves out and in with affair. during this time he has taken money from his retirement account at work to fund his new place as he did not take anything from the family home - not even all of his belongings. I can assume this has been going on since last summer based on his comments that he has not been happy since then. Also, during this time, we started taking care of our 1 yr old grandchild because his mom is finishing up college this summer. So, not sure what really happened to cause him to have affair or when it may end. I have read about MLC and not sure this is a case or what - when we talk which is every other day or so and he contacts me, he will say he loves me when getting off the phone or if in person - not sure what this means. Any advice for a woman who has invested time in a marriage where family means everything and i really want this to work out. Also, 3 of the children want nothing to do with him and his family will not contact him either since he was avoiding them - if he want to talk with them he has to call - we do not live in the same location.
