Waiting for the tides to change - 3

[purgatory]

Totally understand your frustrations, and they are valid!

{I'm going to play devils advocate fora second, please don't get too made with me, it's done out of love}

re-read this quote from ces:

After reading the books and reading posts on this board, I understand (at least a little better) your frustation with H only now showing behaviors/actions you wanted him to show much earlier on. Why would it take all this crap to finally make it happen. It is absolutely frustrating.

Isn't this what the WAS says to *us*?? They get so upset that we could take their requests seriously in the M and why did they have to leave for us to change....

But if you can float above the anger for a second, I think his change in actions is a positive thing. In the same way that it took him leaving you for you to look inwards and make some changes... I think it did for him too. You're task now is not to point it out to him, don't vilify him for only getting involved after he left. How would you feel if every time you did [any action that is 180 for you] that instead of appreciating it, he would throw it back in your face? Take his efforts at face value and hopefully with your encouragement (or lack of expressing frustration to him) he will continue to get involved... and that is always a good thing.

Ok, now back to me focusing on you.... I think your H is an idiot for not seeing what an amazing woman and mother you are!! You will ALWAYS be the one that got away if he doesn't ever turn around... and I imagine that will be his greatest regret. You have every reason to be frustrated with his 'casual' response, I am fully aware of the range of emotions that you have to go through every time they 'change the rules'.

I really hope I didn't offend, I care about *you*, not him. I'm not defending anything he's done or said.... I simply saw something different in his email, and wanted to share.

Hugs for you!!!!