Thanks so much to all of you; Seeking, Irish, Antonia, Brookie, Beatrice and Snodderly.
I know the wisdom of your words. But as the song says ..."I wish my mind would tell my heart" so I could move away from the niggling doubt in my consciousness.
I do not think that my XH is any happier in his new life than in his old. I fail to see how he could be. His wifey still controls his FB and email. She unfriended on his behalf the one D that allowed him on her site to see pics of the grands, then had the gall to email her and ask her to please not hold their marriage against their father. He loved them SOOOOO MUCH. Who could be happy with that degree of manipulation and distrust?
I truly have healed in many respects. I just want to be totally honest with myself. I've seen the 'faking it until I make it' remark several times. I don't feel I am having that much difficulty, but this is a lingering remorse that I just have to come to terms with somehow.
I guess the simplist explaination is that I long for an inner peace that has somehow escaped me up to this point. Until I find that, I can't put it behind me and move on to the extint I would like.
I believe as Seeking said, that we would not have found ourselves at this site if we were the thoughtless, selfish people our X's made us out to be, but then again, we are the hardest judges on ourselves.
