I would have loved to see snow this season... Just never happened. You'll look back and be proud of yourself that you did this trip all by yourself! Which means, you can do it again in the future- hopefully without so much anxiety.
I saw your post about *his* 180 response to your question... Maybe there's hope for a WAS to change after all! It's never easy to stay detached when they change the rules and do an 180...... HEY! Isn't that what *our* 180's are supposed to do to them?! I can only hope it makes it a challenge for them to walk away when *we* confuse them with our 180s
Enjoy the weekend with your D, and I hope you are comfortable with whoever he choose for the batisim.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Thank you Purg! I've been reading up on your thread. I didn't have reception up in the mountains so I need to catch up on it and see how you and your little one's are doing.
I'm back The trip went really well. It wasn't as sad as I thought. I enjoyed being around healthy couples and all our kids enjoying themselves. I felt pretty proud of myself as I drove home. "I did it!"
He was planning on coming over after his bootcamp class, 8pm and I did DB at work! I asked him if he could get a sub so he could come and see the kids. S3 really missed him. He sounded reluctant, as always and said, "uh ok, it's kinda late for me to find a sub." I said, "I wouldn't ask you unless I think it's important." Before I wouldn't have asked him and held in the resentment or I would've asked him and been angry with him about his response. He responded, "I'm not as committed to the gym. not like before. I don't mind you asking, I just need to find a sub" WHOA!!!! He pulled another 180 on me!! My head is spinning!!!
He came over in a really good mood and told me something funny that happened to him today and he took the kids to his moms cuz they're having a gathering.
Before he came over, a part of me was hoping he'd invite me, but I had to catch myself and remind myself, NO EXPECTATIONS!!!
Tomorrow we have our 4th coparenting session
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Does anyone watch it? I record all the episodes and fast forward the part where the cheating spouse says how exciting the affair was. blah blah blah! But I like to hear what made them wake up and how they got back together and the counselor's interpretation of their sitch.
To be honest I get big triggers while I watch and have to make sure I'm not going to see him after the show.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
I did another 180 (n so did he). Before I would've acted on my emotions. I would've believed that if I felt it then it was real. Tonite I told him, I believe you are a great father and that you make yourself available for your kids; however I felt that you weren't making time for them which why asked you to look for a sub. He said that when I called him he had already started looking for a sub but didn't want to tell me because he thought it was something he needed to do on his own. I was shocked! He said he knew that he wasn't going to have enough time w them if he did the class and so he started looking but when I called him he hadn't found one.
We ended the talk and he left. 15min later he called me. Said he wanted to thank me for the way I talked to him. That after everything I still treat him w respect. He even offered to drive back n bring me Starbucks.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
We talked on the phone this morning n laughed about stuff the kids do. S3 says, daddy let me give u a hug n a kiss. S3 kisses the cell and hugs himself Our talks are so mellow now. We're not as guarded. Every week it's easier to see him n talk to him. I'm beginning to miss him again . I wonder if he feels the same. He says he notices I've changed and he appreciates it. I think he's convinced I'm a better person but he still talks about our future apart. Makes me sad but I just roll with it, hoping these changes in our rapport n behavior will also bring about changes in our relationship. God give me the strength to be a better person for myself so that I may be a better mom for my children. God help me to detach and enjoy my present.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
I had such a hard time not backsliding this morning. I woke up at 4am to change diapers and suddenly put 2pieces of information together. A pix I saw of him n OW on a plane and him telling me they didn't fly to mazatlan together.
So he shows up this morning as always to help me with the kids. I wanted to grill him, to accuse him of lying. I didn't. I held my breath. Told him to have a good day at work.
I tried to eat breakfast. So I called him n thanked him for putting all the paperwork together to refinance the house. Instead of just a "your welcome" he added "well since I'm the only one working it might not go through and ultimately this will benefit you." more talk of our future apart
DB coach Laurie said to look past this and go by his actions. So here goes... Last nite after coparenting counseling, we got home and he lingered as I swept the floor. I didn't really say much but I could tell he didn't know what he wanted. He then offered to pick up dinner. Took S3 with him and quickly came back w food. He left and called shortly after just to tell me what he was going to do weights at the gym. Weird, I know.
I did do something good. I didn't look in the back of the truck to see if he had his overnite bag. I told myself I was going to avoid looking back there for my own serenity.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
I had triggers again today and worked hard to not let them get me down. As a result, I was civil with him, I was very patient with my kids, I enjoyed dinner w a friend. So when he called to see how I was doing I didn't answer n text him I was on the phone w a friend (which was true). He asked, is he handsome? WTH?? I text, wouldn't u like to know... Funny thing is, I was on the phone w an older lady lol!!
Tonite when he came over he invited me to his parents tomorrow night for dinner. It's his dads bday. He also said we should go to the mall w the kids together on Sunday. I said. Yeah sure...
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
. I wonder if he feels the same. He says he notices I've changed and he appreciates it. I think he's convinced I'm a better person but he still talks about our future apart. Makes me sad but I just roll with it, hoping these changes in our rapport n behavior will also bring about changes in our relationship.