I know what you are feeling, I think I held the record for taking the blame for everything.
Looking back, I realized I was too dependent on my xh. I did not hold up my end in the marriage in many ways. So, I accept that those are things about me that I needed to change.
Here's the thing. I did not do or not do anything with the intention of hurting him or my marriage. Had I known better, I would have done better.
What I do know without a doubt is that I was a good wife in a lot of ways. I loved him unconditionally and I always had his back.
Were there things in the marriage that needed improvement? Yes. Were there ways that both of us could have handled things better? Yes.
But, I honored my vows. I did the very best I could at the time.
I did not deserve to be cheated on. I did not deserve to be ruined financially. My son did not deserve to be hurt so deeply.
So, I embraced the ways I could improve for me. And I also forgive myself any mistakes I made unknowingly.
