She loves me not

[MrBond]

"I was oblivious and she has checked out. Her love tank empty."

Let's face it. She was oblivious too. She could just have spent the same amount of energy trying to strengthen her relationship with you rather potentially having an A. So don't beat yourself over who's to blame.

"Should I revisit the issue IYHO?"

I'm not sure what issue you're referring to. You said she was open and talked to you about it and you seem content with that. There's going to have to come a time when you stop obsessing about the EA. If she is really open to healing things, then she needs to see to your insecurities that SHE caused. If you need to feel the trust with her again, tell her that you need transparency. That you can check her phone when you respectfully ask for it. That she does not contact the other guy. Again, state these needs clearly and confidently.