Anxiety, boundaries and expectations?

[canadianMrs.]

We're not religious and we are doing MC. When this all began I had a DB coach, and H talked to her once as well. We then did MC a couple times while A was going on, although I didn't know at the time, and obviously the MC didn't help. After the A came out both of us did IC provided through H's work. It helped somewhat. Now we are going to a MC who is highly regarded in the city. He is not covered through H's work and expensive but we agree that he has been worth the money. We've gone together and separately. The MC wants us now to try without him unless we get stuck. H needs to learn to communicate without MC always there to help. So that is where we are.
The texts are light and fun, sometimes about the kids but not always. Rarely do we talk about us/future, but have said that we do want a future together. We did talk in person last night about that. He could sense something was different with me, and was amazing. He said he knows he has to prove to me I can trust him again and if it takes him telling me every move of his day he'll do it. When we do talk, I do feel like I'm talking to a grown up, which wasn't always the case. Through MC he's finally seen that our differences aren't deal breakers, just different and many times complimentary. He's also realized some of his theories on love and marriage were unrealistic. (ie. not having to work at staying in love!) We have made a lot of progress in the last 11 months. I have to remember not to rush.
I don't even want to rush in reality. I love the life I have made for myself, and I have to be sure that H and I can really work before I can make any more big changes/decisions.
Through MC we've talked about how I'm an extrovert and he's an introvert. That does effect how we move forward too. I don't want to be the one who leads this journey, but at the same time I think H is looking for me to create a connection where he feels safe to open up etc....something he never had growing up (another MC ah-ha moment for H) Oh, the effect his childhood/family has had on him...that could be a novel. I almost fell out of my chair when H said "I didn't learn anything good about marriage from my parents". Progress!
This piecing is hard. You finally see the light, but then realize its still way down at the end of the tunnel.