I have done this. Similar to what you suggested. But with out the nice ending.
She tells me he is a nice guy, just friends. He is funny and fun to be around. He is married, she is married, work policy. If under different circumstances maybe.
She met with him so they could ride together to a 3 day meeting 4hrs away b/c she didn't want to drive. (I found 2 receipts for the same room on what should have been the last nite of the business meeting. This hotel was not in the same city as the meeting. One with his credit info on it, one with hers. She had pretended she was still at the business meeting hotel that nite.) She said that he called and reserved the room for her while driving and she had the bill changed the next a.m. I asked why did he even call to do that. She had no answer. She checked in at 10:30. Says he just dropped her off and drove to his house. (My fear tells me she had the bill info changed as it was company credit and the OM lives in the same town as hotel. They stayed together and banged all nite.)
Why wouldn't she just come home. Could've been here by 11:30. Why lie to me about your whereabouts. Why be in one place and say you are in another...no answers except b/c I would be suspicious.
I have been very confident in my relationship until this point. Never thought of her fooling around. Not a jealous H. We had frank talks about it during our M. If either was tempted, just tell the other they want out. I guess she did tell me she wants out with ILYBNILWY.
She goes on to tell me that they did go to the bar one nite, after a dinner with coworkers, instead of going to the hotel like everyone else.
At first it was she has nothing to tell or hide. Then a little. Then more. I went into it ok but ended up dragging it out of her.
I thanked her for the honesty, but thought her a liar and a slut and said I hated her for what she had done. She said that it was not an A. Even if it was it was, it would be a result of our problems, not the cause.
I did NOT "fly off the handle", throwing stuff, and road cussing her like the child in me wanted to do. I was quite calm and cold. My parting statements are something I will forever regret. I so wish I would have handled it like your post reads. Or maybe not at all.
My words cut her deeply and she says after her nervous laugh "you will EAT those words."
I decided I should leave. Go somewhere. Anywhere. I started packing some clothes. It was near midnite at this point. As I get ready to walk out she says don't leave. It's what I wanted to hear so I stayed.
We have not talked about leave, stay, D, work on it, since.
She needs time. I need time.
I should have just thanked her for telling me. It has to be hard to admit the lies. She did what I wanted her to do. It was not what I wanted to hear and she painted it in an innocent light, but it was some form of coming clean. And she had been so strong to tell me ILYBut just a short time before. It is brutal honesty to tell a spouse that. It must be hard.
Thinking back I dragged the ILYBNILWY out of her.
She doesn't want to hurt me. I am realizing that now. It hurts anyway.
I told her I was sorry for name calling. (I truely am. I have never resorted to that before. She has always been a "good-girl" in my eyes and have treated her as such.)
If you are not ready to hear the truth, I don't recommend asking!
