To honesty and openness, how does one earn trust after it's lost? If someone's whole life consists of "How was your day?" relationships (except for his family,) and they don't even seem to want more, how can that be fostered?
To honor and respect, how can that be changed when the mentioning of an unappreciated treatment is interpreted as criticism, and subsequently defended? Or if it is heard, it's forgotten 20 minutes later?
As for sharing activities, how do you get someone to want to share your life, when the same person wasn't even content with you on your honeymoon? Sure, he'll do it and stop complaining now, but that doesn't mean he wants to do it. It's like having sex because it's your duty instead of it being something you enjoy sharing with the other person.
As to opinions, I've been trying for years to figure that one out, but the only thing that seems to be acceptable is not sharing my opinion at all.
As to sex, well, there's volumes written about that. My instruction/suggestions haven't "taken" (ie. been remembered). At this point, I have no interest with all the other problems.
As for having my back, there are too many more important people between him and me for that to happen. He told me once that he learned from his first marriage that wives are temporary but family is forever. What could he do besides cut ties with his whole family, as if that would work anyway?
As for love languages, he can't remember mine. Sort of moot, since the top two are honesty/openness and affection. Those two sort of conflict the the issues above.
So if YOU think it can be saved, what would YOU recommend he could do to improve our current reality?
