I didn't see it coming...but now I see everything

[breakdownbill]

I'm a Male 33 and W 31, we have 2 children daughter 8 and son 5. SIT - my W is ILYBNILWY now after being married for 8 and half years and together for 12. I'm in the last year of my degree, just been made redundant - (which the money has been spent on home improvements & a family vacation booked for June in Florida). I now realise that I haven't been meeting my wife's needs emotionally and physically. I have been so focused on getting a good degree so I can become a teacher, whenever I wasn't studying I was thinking about it and have become distant. This affected everything, being intimate, having meaningful conversations, spending quality time together. Last year in September I took up ballroom dancing to go with my wife, who'd been going for nearly 3 years, so that we could spend time together at least once a week. At first this helped the relationship, but my wife felt that I was being akward and didn't like dancing with her. It wasn't that, I was just pretty bad at it & paranoid about standing on her feet all the time. Anyway, my dance class night changed and we couldn't get a babysitter, so I kept it up on my own & my wife went on her regular night. So this regular social activity ended in January.
My wife has been going out a lot lately partying & not coming home until 5am & this Saturday it was 8am. I know that this is because I haven't been meeting her needs & I'm not suspicious of her cheating on me (I still trust my wife)but I worry about her sick when she's out & stay up until she's home. A fortnight ago we were out dancing for a presentation night & my wife wanted to go out to town after it. i didn't and said that I didn't want to go (selfishly because I didn't want to get in @ 5am and see her waste another Sunday in bed hungover). My W took this as the last straw and said that was it, we didn't have a relationship and she didn't want me anymore. I was devastated, and tried my best to do whatever I could to show my wife how I felt (which I now realise is what we call smothering). On that Saturday night, when she came home @ 8am, which was a week after the dancegate,I was worried about her and tried to have a heart to heart with her. She asked me to leave, but that we won't tell the kids & upset them. So I spent a night on my sister's couch & sneaked back in to get the kids ready for school. My W then said that you can't afford rent for your sister & that I would be better off sleeping on the couch, which is where I've been the past 2 nights. I feel really pathetic, because she's right I can't afford to move out, I don't want to upset the kids and I'm more madly in love with my wife than when we first met & it's burning me inside. I haven't been enjoying life for the moment, but this last week I started to and instead of worrying about not studying when it was half term school holidays - I forgot about it & had a blast with the kids. I loved it!! I wish I'd seen how I've been sooner, because I feel like I've not had any real fun in nearly 3 years and missed out on so much living with my wife and kids. i feel so guilty, because if she felt like how I'm feeling now and has gotten over it, why should she give me another chance?
Tonight she went to bed straight after the kids did, and as soon as it was safe to do so, I cried my eyes out. I can't go on like this, the only thing keeping me going is the unconditional love of my 2 beautiful children and the hope that my beautiful wife, gives me another chance.
I'm really sorry for such a long 1st post, but has anyone got any advice for me please?