So my intuition says it's going to be alright but I don't want to believe it yet so I'm acting AS IF it's going to be alright - yeah that makes sense!!!!!
It didn't for me either, at first. I still have my days where I have to do as you are doing, but they are getting further apart and less intense. This is not easy, I sometimes think if W had died it would be less painful because I wouldn't see her everyday, want her everyday, hang out with my temporarily-former-best-friend"...
Since I am a recovering "fixer", I get your confusion about "controlling" behaviors...I don't know if you saw this link:
Question, is leading a conversation and asking questions controlling?
If you are trying to get movement, a change of mind, a result, then...yes.
(Doesn't "leading a conversation" imply controlling it?)
As I said, I am recovering from this need as well...btw, it does feel great when you get familiar with NOT controlling...lighter, less burdensome....but I have to fight the urge to control, and recognize when I am doing/thinking it, daily.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
