Hello, Im here to seek help. I met my wife in highschool and we have been together for 8 years. we have been married for almost 3 years. the past year she has been begging me for a baby and then just before it all she told me she changed her mind. I was happy and i cant believe i didnt notice that as a symbol of her checking out of the relationship.
so
a few weeks ago she came home and told me she needed some space and with hesitation i let her have it. it was the worst day i ever had when she walked out the door. she is now staying at her mothers house and i feel like its doing more damage then good.
before she left i asked her why and she said that i dont help her out around the house enough and that we dont do anything together anymore. It didnt need to be said but we both know that our sex life was at an all time low. I hate myself for it because she is so attractive but for some reason i thought that with enought time i would come around and enjoy having sex with her again. well i guess i let it go for too long.
we both dont communicate enough with eachother and if we would have i dont think i would be in this situation.
after watching a video on youtube i realized that she had been telling me for a long time i just wasnt listening and it took her leaving for me to wake up and realize what i have lost.
after a day at her moms i went to see her and i convinced her to come home but it wasnt long till she had a look of worry on her face and i asked her what and she told me "i dont know if i love you anymore". she went to work with that and i told her its probably best if she went back to her moms and now im regretting that decision because her not being around me is not giving her the opportunity to view any changes and since we are not talking she chant hear them either.
so while she was at her moms she found my can of worms and that was that i have been talking to a girl for a long long time almost 5 years. i have been talking to this girl but i have never cheated on my wife. but to her this was cheating. to me i only did it for the ego boost. regardless i feel horible about it because i know it was wrong.
I have always known that she gets men hitting on her almost every day but it never really bothered me because i trust her. but after she found out about me and my can of worms i found out that when she first started to feel like she wanted out of the relationship she started flirting back and even had lunch with one.
regardless of that she is still upset about my mistakes and she asked for complete 0 contact space so i have been doing my best but in the begining i kept breaking and doing the worst thing possible and i would text her practically begging her. i have since stopped but i still break every once in a while and talk to her family but it never leads anywhere because they wont tell me anything. so now i left to visit my sister in NY me and my wife are from california. so i feel like i cant give her anymore space then this. and last sat. i wanted to tell her i was in new york so i told her and during that conversation i asked if we could talk when i get back and she said yes but at the same time the rest of the conversation felt like it was all clues to her not feeling like she wants to work on our marrige so i feel like when i get home and talk to her its just so she can tell me she wants a divorce.
i am getting the impression that she does not even want to see a MC so I am feeling pretty hopeless. to me it feels like she doesnt realize that this is a marriage and that its not just a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. I feel like she should respect the vows she took and atleast try to make things work.
it [censored] i feel like she took it out of my hands and i am left with no way of fixing my marriage. she is so attractive that i know she will not have any trouble finding someone who will give her what she wants and i feel like an idiot for not being that person in the first place
