Sounds like you are doing pretty well, an ebook that helped me specifically in the A arena with W's first dive down the mlc tunnel was "Break Free from the A...." (google it, and clear your history afterwards...). it meshes well with DB philosophy, imho.
STOP SNOOPING!!!! I KNOW, easier said....
One thing that I did was really get down deep into my mind and guts whether the A was/is a deal breaker, if I could truly forgive, and if the pain would be/is worth the chance at a better R (I chose "yes"). REALLY go there, for YOU.
Just treat her as your best friend, love from a distance, and know that most affairs last less than a year.
What are you doing for GAL, for you?
Did you find out about the job yet (I might have missed that)?
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
