I don't really have any advice for you other than to say that I am in a similar situation as you. I am at 28 months and counting since the bomb was dropped. Wife has remained at home the entire time, but I do have have the OM thrown in as added measure.
I am not sure why, but like you I still love my wife and would like nothing more in life then to have another chance with our relationship. Unfortunately, we can't go back in time and our wives do not want to move forward so we are stuck in this state of limbo. I really admire your dedictation to your children and your willingness to hang in there for their sake. Knowing that there are others out there who have been at this longer than I have provides me with the motivation to keep going.
My wife does not display any outward anger towards me, but there is a definite barrier in place that keeps her from extending any sort of emotional connection to me. It has been years since she has aked me how my day went, how am I feeling or even saying goodnight.
I have given her the green light to proceed with a divorce if that is what she wants, but she has not made any movement in that direction. She doesn't want to proceed with a divorce and she doesn't want to work on establishing a new relationship. Like your situation, it is very frustrating to be held hostage while they try and sort out what they want in life.
Anyways, hang in there. I will continue to monitor your posts, Take care.
