I was also starting to get concerned that I'm getting far too obsessed with this whole sitch, I've had enough self control to stop myself contacting her everyday but I know it comes out when we do speak.
Question for you all, what can I do to help this sitch? We're not in piecing as such as she is not giving it 100% but is trying a bit. In fact she was the one who wanted to change our talks from fortnightly to weekly. I've got the impression she is considerably confused and she has stated that quite a lot as well to me and MC. So what should I do? In our talks it's quite hard to get her to open up but she's not telling me anything new when she does. I get that I need to detach and be patient but 2 weeks ago she even stated that I was too defensive at MC as we're supposed to be getting it sorted together! What can I do extra to help the sitch apart from what's already being said?
Re-read the post I wrote to you on the 15th, and Bond's, and remind yourself of how you got here.
You are backsliding into victimhood and expectations.
If I were you, I'd stop the obessessing about OM. I really would.
It takes the focus off how YOU got here (you know, like things YOU did or said that hurt her...which is what you ought to be working on)
and you need to work on YOU a whole lot more than you need to wait around for an apology.
Be patient. Forget dramatic gestures and STOP giving ultimatums.
it's so controlling and that IS clearly a problem you have. I see it in your posts. Even now.
You need to truly learn some basics here, like owning your stuff, staying in your sandbox (& out of hers) and digging a lot deeper in YOU
b/c you are all you control. You cannot control her. Get that.
and work on your issues-- so you are the better choice. Be a man only a fool would leave.
consistent changes + sufficient time = change she can believe in.
if she does not believe marriage to you can be better/different,
she won't return.
So how are YOU showing her that YOU have changed?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
