I'm new around here but have not found much to help out the ld partner. My H is hd and has been since day one. In the first 36 hours we "made love" 24 times. Five years later, I got around to having an orgasm. I worked myself to the bone trying to like sex for 20 years. Finally did but not as much as he does. Now, 38 years later, we have sex on MY schedule which is about six times a year.
Here's a quick rundown on the problems: - I was abused as a child so to me sex is exploitation [can't seem to convince myself otherwise] - I am just not all that interested [took me 4 months to even start thinking about it when I was out of the country for a year] - my orgasms are rarely worth the hard work [I've tried a lot of solutions but nothing seems to help] - my husband is not the world's greatest lover [neither am I, of course, but I'm not the one who wants more sex] - we have both gained weight, especially him, and fitting together is not all that easy - we used to fight all the time and I just can't make love when I'm furious at him [doesn't bother him as much, I guess] - I know I can't keep him satisfied [tried for about 20 years] so I've given up trying
Despite all this, we have been married for 38 years and still love each other. He's had to learn to get by without much sex and I've had to learn to get by without much foreplay [intimacy, non-sexual touching, fun, etc.] It's not a picnic but the rest of life isn't, either.
Reading this, it sounds rather hopeless. Actually, since I quit doing it unless I darn well want to, things are better for both of us. He kicked and screamed but finally settled down and, no, he's not having an affair.
Writing this has been an instructive process --I am turning myself on! I think I'll go knock the socks off the old guy.
