Seeking, I think your xh is very ashamed and guilty for what he's done. He can't look you in the eye because he knows that he's really hurt you. They tend to feel more comfortable utilizing electronics to stay in touch w/us. He's not comfortable in his own skin and doesn't know how to deal w/it, just like a child who has done something terribly wrong and doesn't know how to talk about it w/a parent.
I do believe that one day, he will make a move and come into your home, but it's going to be a while. He's still testing the waters w/you and needs to make sure it is a safe environment, even though you have been gracious and kind, they still remain cautious for a long time.
If I were you, I'd continue doing what you are doing and live your life to the fullest. He is the one that has to find a way to catch up to you and your life as it is today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
