WHG: And Alice goes down the rabbit hole...

[workinghardguy]

Journaling... Today was better than yesterday, but I guess that's the norm. Funny how one thing can just throw it all crazy though. At one point today I was looking in the closets for some bedding and found the plaster cast we made of my wife's belly when she was pregnant with our S. It got left behind in the move, though I'm guessing that wasn't intentional as it was stored up high. Finding it brought back all the pain and tears. Later an email from my S's teacher had me sideways as S asked to talk to her today and told her he doesn't like the divorce and misses daddy when he's at mommy's house and misses mommy when he's at daddy's house. But all in all it was a better day.

Tonight I had all the kids at my house from after school to bedtime. Our dog had to go to the vet today as well, thankfully it turned out to be a minor problem easy fixed. I don't particularly like our dog but found myself emotional when alone in the vet's office. All I could think of was that if something happened to the dog it would be just one more failure for my kids.

Kids and I had fun tonight. We made supper together and did homework. Kids loved my spaghetti sauce. I make it from just a tomato puree base and go from there. W never liked it so I stopped making it. But she doesn't live here anymore so it's back. SS asked why we hadn't had it in so long... so I told him mom never cared for it so out of respect for her I stopped making it. But she's not here and we all love it, so it's back!

A little bit before bedtime we all went over to my W's house. I put SD and S to bed and hung out with SS while he read. Once SS went to bed I read and surfed the net. I will admit that it was a bit surreal sitting in my W's living room all by myself after SS went to bed. Like a guest in one's own house sort of...

I think I did ok tonight. Before heading over to W's house I changed out of my scrubby clothes and put on something nice and made sure to have cologne on. She got home and I gathered my things. Met her in the kitchen and gave her the list of updates and info she needed from the day and about tomorrow. She started talking about work and a challenging patient. I listened for a little bit then said that I had to leave. I told her goodbye and walked out the door.

I didn't even cry walking out or once in the van. I drove home, fixed my dryer, did some laundry, boxed up her and the kids' clothes from the laundry and now I'm on here.

Before I go... one highlight from tonight was that SS asked me if I would be willing to take him and some of his friends to the opening of Hunger Games when it comes out next month. I asked my W tonight if that would be ok (it would be on her weekend). She was stunned. First she was surprised that SS wanted to go with his friends. Then she was floored that he asked me and not her to take him. And it was cute how he asked me... he built up all this courage but tried to play it cool. I told him I'd love to take him and his buddies to the opening. I don't know if it affected my W at all, but I do know she was very surprised by him asking me. And lord knows that seven months ago that is the last thing my SS would've been asking of me.