Mimi- Thank you so much for your insights from your therapy, about the mask that they feel they need to put on to protect themselves. It makes a lot of sense.
H came over tonight, thank goodness I hadn't put on my bummy house clothes yet! He actually said: "Sorry, I forgot to text you and let you know I was coming over." It's not monumental, but, at least he remembered we had talked about this before.
He and I chatted while he was gathering his work laptop... about kids and the gym. I asked him how his training was going for the April competition, and he opened up and said that he's getting close to his goal, but probably won't make it. I asked a few questions about what type of things he's been doing to reach his goal (a 180 b/c I'm taking an interest in *his* hobby) I said a few encouraging things about how impressed I am with his dedication, he grinned and glanced at me, then went back to packing his bag. I mentioned about how the baby did at the preschool, and he got a questions mark on his face. "Today was your first day? I thought it was Thursday?" (well, maybe that explains why he didn't wish me luck) He asked a few questions and even had some suggestions- it was like a conversation that we would have always had... it felt natural.
H hugged S6 and made a comment that he's growing everyday, he decided that we needed to start marking it on a doorframe. So he got out a pen and marked the first line with today's date. S6 saw H's bag on his shoulder and asked where he was going and when he was coming back (this is the first time he's said anything to H about him leaving.) H told him that he was staying at [friend's] house and he would be back tomorrow after work.
When he was walking down the driveway, S6 and I were in the doorway, and S6 yelled: "bye daddy".... H waved over his shoulder without turning around. I don't think S6 was upset by that small gesture, but it was like a slap in my face. Who knows, maybe he was crying and could bear to turn around and see him standing there waving.... but he could also just be a jerk.
If anybody wants to... I would recommend going to FB and searching for a person named: Purgatory DB... you might like what you find
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Purg, I am continually impressed with the way you grow and handle your sitch. Maybe he did not turn around because he was morphing back into Mr Hide?:)
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Geez, I have to get up at 05:00 just to get myself and my DOG set for the day! lol
Glad your first day was okay. Glad that your H thought your first day was Thurs, and that you guys had a discussion about it after. Thats a good sign! If he did't give a $hit he would have dropped it at 'oh'.
Hey P, hope your day 2 goes well. I'm sure you'll get the morning routine down soon!
I know this goes into the "mind-reading" category but for me, I couldn't imagine being able to turn around and say good-bye to my son in that situation without crying. I'm sorry it hurts but I seriously doubt it has to do with you. Your H has his own issues that he's dealing with. Sometimes were just collateral damage. Still hurts though.
Have a great day and hope you enjoy your job!
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
Glad to hear that your first day went well and also that you'll have your hands full there...it'll keep your mind busy.
It must be hard not knowing when/if your H will come by the house. At least he apologized about not calling beforehand, but still. Love you comment about the bummy clothes. Last night, I felt like bumming around, so I dressed accordingly lol
Your interaction with your H last night seems to have gone better than the previous one. Good for you for keeping calm and showing interest, and also for not showing your disappointment about his "disinterest" in your new job, which turned out to be a misunderstanding.
I'm sure after this week you'll get into your new routine in getting ready and out the door in the morning. It sure is more difficult when you have to do it by yourself, but I know you'll figure out a good system.
I'm making H's favorite pot roast today (in the crock pot.) Is it a coisidence that tonight is *his* night with the kids? I think not.
Call it what you want, torture or a not-so-subtle reminder of the comforts of home. It must be nice to come home after a long day at work and the house smells yummy and a warm meal is waiting for you.... Oh, but you dont want to be part of this family and have a W to share this life with.... Well, i guess that means that you wont have home-cooked meals waiting for you and smiles and hugs, from the people who love you, to greet you at the door each night- and that's what you call 'happiness'???
But even though I'm making the meal for me and my boys... I'm getting some satisfaction knowing that H will notice this.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
