Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[ptcr]

In Virginia at the lake with my dog, cat and an hour from loads of family....I grew up in a big, boisterous, happy family. Had lunch with aunt and cousin today, school lunches with neices tomorrow, birthday parties, basketball games, all kinds of fun stuff up here for me to do. Best treat is seeing S18 at UGA on the way home...he refuses to speak to his father and says he has lost a lot of respect for his Dad...so sad. Yes, dysfunction, alcoholism, bipolar and depression. Our C said he is "the MOST resistant" person she has EVER tried to treat. Sad. He just won't admit he has anything wrong because "depressed people don't run 10 miles" and other such silly remarks. Ego....this is all ego....praying for a miracle. Yes, S16 didn't want to go skiing and says he wants to punch his dad. He is at our house now though I told him not to come in. He is sleeping in S18's room. The boys HATE this but it is a compromise to keep S16 at home and not a friend's house and I guess I will have to live with it. Who knows, maybe better to remember what he HAS as opposed to what he DOES NOT down the street. I have been thinking today about what he said during any counseling....I think I took all responsibility and probably ended up controlling him with all my best intentions to manage our life. He also said to MC that he remembered vividly when we broke up in college junior year (which I do NOT) and also to IC about when i rejected him in high school. Obviously pursuer/pursued thing is in the forefront of his mind...so I will continue to go dark and mysterious. This time away from our home has given me some objectivity for which I am very grateful. I have internet at the lake, obviously, and I have been scouring the boards and it is all starting to sink in. Thanks for advice on Alanon. Also, mishka, thanks for reminder of not wondering/spying on what he is doing. I get wrapped around my L's comments about more egregious his behavior the better for me. What did your BF's D from Pat cost? I heard $60,000 for a recent messy pilot case. Whoa...