deployment to divorce 1

[31nheartbroken]

Unfortunately, it feels like D is probably imminent for me. H wants to file at the beginning of April. I am trying to stall as long as I can and will continue with that process.

Maybe something will change by the 11th hour!! If not, I know I will be ok!

I know I love him and want him back and I still miss him, but when he was here today, I didn't have that urge to reach out and touch him anymore! I am truly amazed at how detached I have become and I truly realize that it is letting me let go. I know in my heart, if he said to me lets work on things, I would jump at the chance to reconcile, but my feelings for him no longer control me like they used to.

I think I will write a letter, like some of you have, and I will leave it somewhere that H would see it next time he's here. Then if he reads it at least I will have been able to get some things off of my chest without actually pursuing him. If he doesn't read it, no harm done!!