She came over to pick up d at 5. She seemed to be in good spirits, was happy to see our d. She needed to pick up a few things, luggage (for her trip this week) and a few kitchen gadgets, and a few of her cookbooks.
She asked me how our weekend was, I told her it was good. I made good eye contact, I think. She doesn’t always make the greatest eye contact, so It’s hard for me to know how I’m doing in that category.
Every time I see her now days she’s dressed in all these dark colors. Before she moved out she would really knock me out with her outfits—but maybe it’s the winter, or maybe she doesn’t feel like dressing up much on the weekends, or when she knows she’s seeing me. However, her skin looked really good—I complimented her on it, and she seemed pleased to receive the compliment. A minute later she thanked me for helping watch our d one extra day this week while she was traveling.
I opened the door to let them out, and as my wife walked by she looked at me and said goodbye. I almost felt some electricity, as though she wanted to lean in to kiss me…It sounds crazy I know, but I really got the sense that she wanted to do that. Perhaps it was a knee-jerk reaction on her part, or a figment of my imagination, but it really seemed that way.
I stood out on the porch and watched them go. Once my w got my d loaded into her car seat she looked up and said bye. I gave her a genuine smile and said goodbye. Before they left, she rolled down the back window so I could hear my d yell, “Bye Daddy!” from her car-seat.
Monday She was off work yesterday and at her place with my d. I called her to see how my d was doing, she had started coughing over the weekend. I asked to drop off my d around 9am on sat morning, because I have something going on that day. She sounded a little rattled by the request, because she’s getting in late on Friday night. But I didn’t let it phase me. When I hung up she sounded really sad.
Today I have been fighting the feeling to call to see how our daughter is doing. I have to work late tonight and need to go grocery shopping before my d comes over on tomorrow night. Lately I feel like I’m always in the Grocery store. It seems like when I make a grocery list, I still get home and have forgotten something, or a few days go by and there’s nothing left in the cupboards anymore. In addition, cooking for a 3 yo isn’t easy either. I guess I need to suck it up and try some advanced planning. With practice I’ll get better. I’m actually not that bad of a cook, I just don’t really like to cook. I like the idea of cooking, but when push comes to shove, I’d rather whip up a pb&j, or dive into a bag of Ruffles.
I know patience must be my guide.
"Things are never bad; it's the way you think about them." -Epictetus
