Honestly, what worked best for me (an my sanity) was less contact. Some people said I was being avoidant but it was more about preserving my sanity. The less contact I had with him the more it seemed to draw him in. I would have zero contact for a week or two and then he would appear somewhere that he knew I was going to be. He always tried to play it off like it was a coincidence but I was pretty sure he was full of it!
Honestly though, my situation is totally not the norm here. He didn't come back begging me to take him back or even admitting he made a mistake....at first. He has never officially asked me to take him back, never has said he even considers our R anything other than a living arrangement, yet we are having a better R all around than we did when we were M'd. He did finally tell me that he made a huge mistake and f'd everything up. I simply said, "Yes, you did." and left it at that.
The distance helped me to re-prioritize my life and find ways to move forward without him. My strength became like candy to him in the long run.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
