been there..... done that.

Agree with 111, Its pursuing if you try to get him to see it your way, or try to get him to agree to give your M a try before he leaves or gives it up.

I'd rather say something like: "I believe our M can still be saved. But if its your choice to leave, and not give it one last try, I will respect your wishes, and wish you the best".

Oftentimes, the WAW, unless they are really determined to leave, doesn't like it when they have to take sole responsibility for the choice to abandon the M. During the time my H had his EA, I felt that he did things on purpose so that I would find out, and be the one to initiate a D. Whenever I would push the choice to his side, and make him the responsible party, he refused to make the move.

One thing though I made clear: there was no halfway measures. He moves out of the house, then its a divorce, no looking back. No trying out an alternate life then running back to me if he wasn't happy or if it did not work out.


Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18
Bomb: 6/26/10
EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ???
11/5/11 Retrouvaille
Finally piecing....
Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go