I see you haven't been separated that long in terms of calendar time (as opposed to subjective time which can feel like an eternity). Is you're W in any way showing you the possibilty of working on the M? Can you be happy while still actively standing for your M? Food for thought.
I struggle with this Rick. It has not been long at all when looking at the calendar. I find that when "I stand for the marriage" I am often overcome with feelings of futility. Not even the tiniest sign that she interested in even taliking to me let alone working on the M.I am beyond LRT - dark. I don't see it happening. She is beyond any doubt the love of my life - nobody will be able to take her place. I do not blame the W for anything, nevertheless she has made her choice and I have no reason to believe she will have a change of heart.
You are so strong to truthfully look at yourself, your M, your W and be so openly honest about how you feel. I'm so sorry you have this sitch in your life. Have you ever told her what you you just told me and others here? That you own your contributions to your troubled M, that you see what you you needed to see and have grown, that she is the love of your life? I know the DB world brands that as pursuing but what if it's like Crimson's W, where she thought his distance was by his choice, what he wanted?
I don't know all of your history but I would hate to see you make a decision if you have never told her how you feel. And FWIW, my W treated me like I was Satan and Hitler rolled into one for at least six months. Is there any chance that it's too early to take it off life support?
