Well, the roller coaster ride continues. My W continues to be secretive and evasive about where she's going and who she's with. Computer and phone locked down... though I've stopped snooping because I can't stomach it anymore.
She's living in some kind of adolescent-like MLC fantasy land about finding the 'perfect' replacement for me. I stumbled upon (really, stumbled upon... didn't snoop) her 'checklist' of the qualities her new man will have... dark and handsome, strong, physically fit, wealthy, adores children/loves my son, expressive, always optimistic, puts her on a pedestal, adventurous, funny, blah, blah, blah... sounds pretty good!
She believes she will find this Prince in 2012. (It does not describe any of the men she's been pursuing to date... they, I suppose, are the toads she's kissed along the way). [Sorry -- I can't help but chuckle to myself a little].
Recently, she's taken to stealing from me -- cash from my wallet to go out for drinks; check book from my briefcase, credit card to add to her online psychic account (Cha-ching! Those psychics must love stringing her along with good predictions about this new man!). Damage was thankfully limited to $400 before I caught it. She denies everything, of course, credit card transaction receipts are apparently no proof of anything in her fantasy land.
So, this week I had enough... cancelled the credit card so she couldn't use it anymore; explained to her I'd no longer backstop her financially when she ran out of money for household expenses that are her agreed responsibility and that she needed to check her extra marital social spending.
Then I used the 'last resort technique'. Told her she had to stop living like a single person and daydreaming like a teenager and recommit herself to real life with me and my son... otherwise she shouldn't let the doorknob hit her in the butt on the way out. No more Mr. Doormat! No more of the perks of partnership if she ain't gonna be a partner...
I was pretty emphatic (and loud)... then I left to go to the gym.
Later, she moaned about how threatening her makes me even less attractive to her... said she wasn't going anywhere, because she and my son are a package deal, so I would just have to deal with the fact that she'll be where I am.
Then yesterday, she e-mailed me the names of two marriage counsellors we could consider talking to.
Now I know her heart's not in it... she feels like she's in a corner (because my threat to kick her out of the house (and the country) is a credible one.) And I know her plan is to appease me with counselling while she gets her financial situation sorted while she continues to seek out Prince Perfect.
BUT -- I'm going to take advantage of this opportunity. (Yep, I've read the threads about how to screen a counsellor). I'm hoping she'll come to realize how immature, crazy and inappropriate she's been acting and actually recommit. Not holding my breath... just hoping.
Any words of advice? Anyone been at this juncture?
Need help... I think this is make or break and I don't want to mess up the opportunity.
