Still trying to change!!

[ChuckF]

Sounds like really good work, well done! Every long-term deeply satisfying marriage has a core of friendship, it's essential. Keep in mind that the "shell" is always about safety - it's not unusual to have a "heart-to-heart" conversation followed by some "shell time". When you stir up some good feelings within her, it will be accompanied by some fear for a while. Respect the shell, she'll come out sooner and stay out longer if you do! Hang in there, you can do this!