I am reading "This is Not the Story You Think It is." Downloaded it last night on my ipad and started right away. Wow, what a fantastic read. Reminds me SO much of my sitch (except for the idyllic Montana farmhouse, that is. LOL). The instant connection she felt with her H; trying to forge a different kind of life together; thinking they were different and special; and then the sudden apathy of her H; the sudden crisis she is in and trying to learn how to unattach. I am trying to read it slowly to savor it. I also love the writing style and that it's not your typical self-help book, but a memoir of sorts. Love, love, love it.
So, last night after reading one chapter, I really calmed down. I got up and cleaned the kitchen (always feel better when my external world is clean and orderly). Read another chapter and took a "spa shower" (my weekly treat to myself where I light candles, put a nicely-scented tablet in the shower, and then go through my 7-step skin care process. I was definitely not going to do it last night, because I was in despair and feeling like nothing mattered, but I did and it felt wonderful). Then I poured myself a glass of red wine and watched a movie.
H came home and I was even calm and friendly. He worked until late into the night. We didn't talk much, but I touched him on shoulder when I went to bed and he used his old endearment for me. When he came to bed, he snuggled against me and went to sleep. This morning, he was his same silent, morose self, but I tried not to let it bother me. I have arranged a trip to New Orleans for this weekend, and I will plan that this week and read my book and take care of myself.
M:37; H:37; M:10 years;T:13 years;no kids. Bomb ("I love you, but don't feel things for you I should":1/08/12 Separated (H living with various friends:1/18/12 Separated (H rented his own apartment:3/4/12
