Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[ptcr]

25yrsMLC...so what do I believe? The stuff he was saying before the MLC or during. That is what is confusing me. He is definitely doing a 180. I love this man dearly, probably too much. I think I lost myself to parenting my children in his absence all these years and stopped being ME. In MC after he moved out the first time and before he moved out the 2nd, they told us we had a long history, we were very attached to one another and that we obviously cared about one another and that if he "really" wanted to be gone he would be but that he was here trying....found out he was lying to them about OW. So what to believe. He thought was I was too "emotinally needy" at the end of a 6-day trip when he would come hom and maybe i would be "better off married to a 9-5 guy." I cried (should have read DB after he came back the first time) because I handle everything in our lives..I was pregnant and delivered our first son by myself on a 6-month deployment. I feel quite capable. Probably too capable? He comes and goes with such regularity it is hard to vacilate from needy wifey to independent single parent and when he is home he is tired and has all the household stuff to do that falls into his purview. IC says he is depressed and blaming me and to keep on keeping on with routine i have established years ago. I am so confused. When I ask him, he refuses to talk about it. I don't ask often. I don't take the temperature of our relationship...i do know that! Sunday he announced he was moving out....hung out together all week like nothing was wrong, went to trivia night, rented a movie, golf cart ride, played Rock Band, worked on budget, enjoyed candlelit dinners and dinner with son and then Friday he says "you know I am still leaving" and he "guessed he confused us" but "we had a nice time and I fixed stuff around the house." I was not begging, pleading, anything. I told him Tuesday of that same week that if he needed to go I understood and that I did not want to be lied to and cheated on. Tuesday! Later that day he asked me to hang out. We worked on our budget all week, getting reading for taxes and FASFA for our S18, and he NEVER mentioned the money he would need to move out. That has become an evil monster - needs more after each trip. So, please tell me what it is you think I could do/change. He has texted me a few times (took S16 skiing out West to see his parents..when I called them to talk to S16 who was asleep his Mom asked how I was doing and she said "he is going through a MLC" and "at least there is not another woman involved" and that H said "hopefully we can reconcile." Okay, do I believe ANY of that. He did not tell his Mom the truth and he is not ACTING like he hopes we reconcile. Anyway....I drove up to our lake house in VA and when I got here I did call him to ask how to turn the water on and the hot water heater. He said he was "surprised" I went and very surprised I was staying by myself (family lives about an hour away). So victory on that 180!!! I have been journalling like mad since I arrived and thoroughly enjoying myself and have heard from him only once with pics of S16 snowboarding. No mention of money or anything else from last phone conversation last week. So I am just leaving it at that. He is solid GONE. He did go into the house on Friday when they did not get on the flight (standby passengers) and stayed in S18's room. I asked him not to go in the house but he said he "wouldn't be denied access" so do I change the locks when I get home? Really feel like it would escalate things. Follow my gut, right? Help!!!!!