Good email! You thanked him for his effort (proposal). You let him know you don't want to separate but since he's going that route, then you need to take care of yourself and the kids (creating boundaries). I wish you lots of luck!
When WAS gave me his proposal I wanted to cry but surprised him by thanking him since I knew it was a lot of work to put it together. If I disagreed I said, ok we'll go with it for now. We are officially separating our money next month. The other day I said, does this mean I can't use the bankcard. He said no (raised eyebrows). I said what about in an emergency? Him, of course (softer tone). Me-like if I don't have money for a pedicure or kids n I are at the zoo and we're hungry? (smiling inside). Him-well ok (reluctant!) Me-(still smiling
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
He actually expects you to go back to work, make as much as you did in your top years, while paying childcare expenses for 3 very small children (WAY EXPENSIVE!), and actually calculate how much gas you use when you don't have the kids vs. when you do.
Can you say LUNATIC?
Sorry, this man is defintely not interested in the best interests of anyone but himself.
Sad.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey KG, I also want to say I know how much it hurts when our Hs show us the side of them we never knew was there. I've felt that maybe I was lying to myself to cover his faults for a long time. It's sad.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
wow! i'm always amazed at how some people really forget to consider the kids. yes.. the kids need their own gas expenses because they are going to drive themselves around. should you be counting how many squares of toilet paper you're using as well?
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
wow! i'm always amazed at how some people really forget to consider the kids. yes.. the kids need their own gas expenses because they are going to drive themselves around. should you be counting how many squares of toilet paper you're using as well?
and divide the square footage of where you live but don't count the baby as a full person b/c he doesn't walk yet so he's not really using the whole place...and count off the food costs, the electricity--deduct the lights in your bedroom and the bathroom (baby has diapers which you could probably change in the dark)
or better yet toilet train baby NOW so you can "both" save money on diapers.
I'd have screwed my head in the ceiling with this idiotically biased financial plan.
And I thank GOD you are getting a L....
if anyone needs one, it's you.
sheesh!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25 and BF's posts made me laugh! I think we should start a collection of the "Things that the Aliens Say"
I think each person should also have to calculate the amount of toothpaste used each day as well as the water needed to brush your teeth. Maybe each member of the family should have a 'usage' chart to carry around with them where each thing they do has a monetary value and they keep a running tally every day.... you H would probably LOVE that.... b/c he's lost his ever loving mind!!
But your sitch is no laughing matter... My heart goes out to you and your kids. I too am relieved that you will be getting a L, so they can speak on your behalf. The things your H is saying/doing, make it seem like this is going to be a tough fight.
You have already proven that you have the strength and dignity to go up against him (if that's what it comes to).
(((((KG)))))
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
wish I could find it but there was a hilarious thread a few years back that might have had the "wacky things" or "alien MLC" words in the subject.
I recall a few. Not all were mine...but at one point my h said "I can't believe you are not in the Senate by now". (In 6th grade I wrote that I wanted to go into politics and informed h of that, on and only on, our first date.)
Someone else's MLC H said "it's Not adultery if you tell your spouse"...(still don't know if they meant telling before, during or after the A)
a WAW said
"it's not cheating if you felt emotionally that you weren't married anymore"...
and my personal favorite, the comment that implies a noble purpose in their deceit--
"I would have told you, BUT I didn't want to hurt you"
(=So I just kept doing it and not 'hurting' you" -
want to thank me now?)
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I recall one of our er "discussions" right after the bomb, I blurted something to the effect, "We're Catholic; unless you get an anullment, you'll always be cheating on me." To which she replied, "It's not cheating if it's not behind your back."
Those were tough times. I still have to live with it though.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
