Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[ptcr]

Too nice...pushover. Let's put it this way. I THINK the problem is that he had NO responsibility for his life. I am an old school military wife who had Officer's Wives Indoc when we were first married where I was told that my hubby needed 3 hot meals a day and that I was to be strong and NOT fall apart when he was out of town...fast forward to airline industry where he is GONE 1/2 of every month if not more. I have stayed home and managed his entire life, bills, volunteering, children to scouts, sports, school, debate, etc. I fill him in on the details. I am a single parent 1/2 of every month, month in and month out. I do not complain but I THINK the problem is I enabled his ability to detach from our family. He doesn't have to call the kids when he is stateside in teh middle of an international trip because I fill him in on all the cute stories, funny antecdotes, etc. This is what a military wife does. Same story right down every house in my neighborhood....He has complained about our sexuality but also we have seen counseling about his inability to show affection (military man - all black and white, etc) and his family is highly dysfunctional and he did NOT have a caring or kind mother and had an emotionally distant father whose expectations he NEVER met! How, I do not know. The man is an aerospace engineer, naval officer, pilot, and commercial airline pilot now. He has worked hard. I have supported the home front. I read a book about Madonna versus the Whore or something and I think that I have room to work in that area but I am NOT a frigid woman and he REFUSES to talk during or before sex about WHAT he wants...he really has a movie script in his head for bedroom stuff. I am NOT blameless, but I have NOTHING to work with! MCs have told us this, communicate, etc, and he will NOT do it. I really do not know what to do. Now he has moved out so really who knows....going dark.