Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[25yearsmlc]

DBing says when the sh1t hits the fan in a divorce proceeding you must protect yourself financially.

That's totally reasonable. Though your kids are older, it's also part of what they may need for college that your h might fly through if he and OW are galavanting.

So you are also doing it for them. At one point I filed for a legal sep b/c I worried that my h was so into his MLC and the "heroes" he had on the tundra, that he'd mortgage our home to "invest" with them.

Later on, like 3 years, he said "thank God WE didn't mortgage our house for those guys"

as if he had no recall of why "WE" could not mortgage the house. (B/C i had filed for a sep, he could not sell or mortgage the home w/o me agreeing, which I would not have done. As it was we lost a ton of money).

In a way i did it for us too, but if we had not reconciled at least I protected myself and the kids. It's a marital asset.

Secondly

As Bond said, you must dig deep to see what YOU can work on in yourself

b/c if all was well and the marriage was fine, then you are powerless to do anything. All marriages have issues and I think if you dig deep you'll recall some things he expressed that were not satisfying him.

We are not making this your fault. BUT try to See the need to improve yourself as empowering b/c it really is. It means you CAN do something about all this.

And since you are the one posting here to save the m, we can only advise you -and you are all you control.

Worry less about your h and what others are saying (b/c it won't help you if you want to keep the road home, paved and smooth)

and focus on YOUR OWN WORK b/c hey, we all have our stuff.

Good luck