Talked to H before my doctor's appt this morning. He talked some about Vegas and how fun it was . He's still sick. He asked why I was at the dr. I told him just a check-up for something (which was true. He doesn't need to know about my anxiety.) He said he was leaving at 12noon or 1pm and he'd call me when he was on the road.
I sent him a text thanking him for making me smile because I was nervous about the appt. He asked why I was nervous? I told him my aunt had the same issue and ended up having something similiar to chemo. He told me that we were not going to claim that; that I was covered by God and would be fine. I told him I know, and thanks for reminding me. In between this he sent me a text saying "I miss you :-(" (This is a convo I would have had with the old H. Not this alien life form I'm living with now)
So, I got a prescription for Xanax from my dr. It's the lowest dosage and I've taken one. My anxiety is now at about 87 instead of 100. Thank God!
So its 3pm and I have not heard from H. I call, no answer. (I know no calls, but I couldn't resist) He sends me a text like 15 mins later telling me he just woke up and asking me how everything went. ZenMother went out the window.
I ask why he's texting me back when I called him? I say I won't know the results for a while and that I was just checking in since he said he was leaving at 12 or 1 and I had not heard from him. I also thanked for asking about the appt. Then I asked if he was leaving now or later? No answer. Guess he didn't like my text.
It irritated me that he couldn't call me back. Makes me suspicious that he's actually at OW's because today is her b-day. I'm SO pissed that I even care. Why can't I detach? I really need to find an outlet for my anger before he gets here. Otherwise, it'll be WWIII. WOOSAH!
On another note, my Pastor just called. I hadn't talked to her since the 1st bomb, so I had to catch her up. She couldn't believe it. And of course she tells me that he needs to make a decision on what he is going to do, and I need to be the one to ask him since he's not talking about it. I told her I knew that had to happen and it would at some point. Apparently, she called and left him a message to call her. I told her he probably wouldn't.
I didn't tell her about DB. She is old school Pentacostal and WOULD NOT have understood. We need some kind of Christian DBing conference to get the word out. I'm going to get tired of explaining this to church folk! LOL
