Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[MrBond]

Alot of your post has been about your H's problems, etc. But was there anything that he said about issues he had with you? Even when they don't say things, you can pick up clues here and there.

Backing up, going dark, etc. are okay. But if there were problems there that aren't being resolved, then it's not going to have him wanting to come back.

Even things that you've noticed, like if you haven't been spending time together, or that you take each other for granted, etc. Just because you didn't argue much before, doesn't mean that things have been perfect.