In some ways W puts quite a bit of effort into the family - she is a pretty good mom. But in the triangle of kids-work-husband, she just thinks that I should suck in up and get over it. Her W is fun and provides her with whatever it is she needs. So she ends up feeling that I am "needy" and try to ruin her fun. We had a talk recently where she said said that I am 75% of the problem and that she wishes I was happy and fun again, and that "all this" doesn't make me very attractive. I pointed out that we don't know anyone else who manages as much as we do - and I'm exhausted. We don;t know any husband that would like what goes on a her office. Or any W that would do these things. That didn't register with her at all. At all. She said she would leave her job if it couldn't get over it - but in truth she wouldn't.....or would blame me forever.
I'm back to sucking it up and trying to be strong and attractive, which is fine. But in the end there's no competing with her work. She was recently given a new project, with a raise and added responsbilities, which she accepted without any discussion, though it means I need to cancel a work trip to stay home with the kids.
I made an appointment to see if I can get back on the low-dose ADs here, though we have no insurance for that. I told my W I would take care of my part of the situation, whatever that was. I suppose they will help if they help me to be or seem stronger and detached. I don't know.
