The most difficult part is that W has said that we can't speak about the child abuse so the marriage and our relationship must be the focus if others are to know. I understand that the abuse is not my secret to share....It's confusing.
Yes it is confusing and just know that she still likely feels a lot of shame about this.
I cannot urge you enough to read all you can about this and its effects on women as they become adults. The more you understand the easier it will be to detach and have compassion for her.
There was a coping mechanism she used as a child to get throught the trauma which actually was healthy to develop at the time of the abuse.
It just doesn't work when they become adults...
The thing to keep in mind is
This is a REASON for her bad behavior and choices
it is NOT and excuse.
So you need to protect and take care of yourself and your family.
How are you doing?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
