I wouldn't read anything into the ring thing other than if she is not wearing her wedding band that to me is a sign she is not ready to commit to repairing your M.
As far as the games did she tell you they came from this dude?
Also it doesn't matter how old he is or attractive he is.
Don't let that fool you. WAW sometimes find A partners WAY below what you might think as suitable for them.
One thing is for sure. She is not going to come back into the M or want to work on it until the A is over.
If she is having one.
There is a time for converations about your M and what to do about it together. It is typically not when we desire to have them which is now when you feel it is falling apart.
It likely took her a while to make this choice and it is not going to change on your timeline.
You pressing her on your agenda will likely be seen as just tha,t
Pressuring her for your needs and agenda.
Thus the advice given here to work on the only thing you can control.
YOU.
That said I think I would say and live these words:
"W, I've told you before that I still love you and still think that we can have a great life together as both a couple and a family. I've not changed my mind on that. But I understand you are not happy, that you do not feel happy or complete inside.
You need to do what will make you happy. By my side, we live as partners, we share everything and we would do anything to help one another. But that's only if we continue as a team.
I won't stand in your way. But I also will not help you leave this marriage or this family. And I will never accept another person being a part of our life together.
I hope you find the happiness you are looking for. Go do what you need to do. You know where I will be."
This OM is in your life Pulp whether she admits he is or not.
He is person you don't know who is giving your W attention and even gifts.
Once you say to her the words above then you must live them.
As far as the games go, Pulp how did it make you feel when she did this?
Is that a decision you feel should have been a joint one? To give S the games? To accept a gift from someone on behalf of your family and son?
Gifts are either gifts or they come with obligations or intentions attached to them.
What do you think about this?
Me? I probably would have said BEFORE giving them to son that I appreciate this man's generosity and would like the opportunity meet him and thank him...
...then give him the games back.
I think I would still do that even though she already gave them to son.
What if it were reversed? Would you accept a gift from a woman to bring home to your family? A woman your W didn't know? From work?
Do you think your W would appreciate that?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
