So do you love your H now or are you only back together because it is the right thing to do? Assuming you love your H, what occurred to change your feelings beyond doing the right things? Did you and your H eventually seek counseling, or some other type of therapy?
I can truthfully say that I love my H very much! But it took time for me to get through my stuff, and he needed to heal from the hurt I caused him. This was done without any counseling or therapy. It was very slow paced. But we got there! If anything happened to him, I would be completely devastated.
I wanted us to go to MC but he was dead set against it. So I used this board as my therapy. I was here day & night.
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what occurred to change your feelings beyond doing the right things?
There wasn't anything that occurred. But when one is doing what is right, and working to get the bad stuff out of your heart and replace with the love you once had.....I think it will come. It did for me. You see, I'm the type that I need people to talk straight to me. And, at the time, I had those wise people here on the board and they gave me that tough love.
I'm sure my H would have loved for something to occur that would have snapped me back to the way I used to be, but I don't know if it happens in real life that way. Makes for good movies.
If we had had some good therapy, I believe progress would have been made faster. However, we didn't have that, so it took a long time for me. But, we made it! And I'm with my H today b/c I want to be with him.
That's why I still hang around the board, b/c I know there's hope in saving a M if one of the partners won't give up. My H did not have DB tools, but he didn't give up hope and he hung in here while I worked through my stuff.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
