You know, it's not how many times it has beat you down, it's how many times you got back up, and it was one more time than it beat you down. It has changed you; a life experience like that has to change you. Not the goodness of you, not the person who raised those great sons.
And I would tell H heck no, I do not want to split the ER bill with him. It's his turn to pay for something. He has let you and S suffer long enough. But, if you want to send him a check, go ahead, because of the person YOU are, but I doubt he would flinch or feel guilty. Plus, you may need the money when that your mother sent is gone. Since you are feeling the finality of the situation, make sure your lawyer is prepared to go for all you and S are entitled to. Like you said, maybe when things calm down, y'all can be friendly, I hope so, but the only way he will pay for his S is to have the courts make him pay. I hope one day that will no longer be true, but for now, he is only thinking of himself.
And I don't care how freaking pretty ow is, she is ugly inside for being with another woman's H. So, even if you were the one to look like the woman of Wallyworld (and I know you don't), you would still have her beat.
I can understand, too about feeling stuck by these boards, that's why I will go away for awhile, then come back to check on people. I get to wondering how they are. There are maybe ten or so, and you are one of them, so of you take a break, please come back to update us, we do care, and want the best for you.
And mishka, you are one of them, too, we don't have as many who identify themselves as a southerner, so we 'grits" have to stick together. so I am really hopeful for your sitch.
You, itm, are really strong, we here see that in you.
