My Sitch/any better ideas than going dark?

[Yasu]

Dude, man, sorry, I haven't visited in awhile. It's turned into a bloody snakepit over here.

Why didn't you just go to the craft store and design your own card? That suggestion was not made out of sarcasm, my man. Crippy, with all your money, you could have paid an art teacher to help you after school. Something you have made with your hands may have touched her - since you were bound and determined to do the Valentine's Day.

He's my take, and some will not like it. I think you would be advised to tackle one issue at a time. First of all, you have a lot of issues - but your wife married you, as is. With all due respect to the self-improvement crowd, we are ALL just humble human beings with our baggage, trying to survive, no matter how much you believe you have self improved. That is not to say that a goal throughout your lifetime should be self improvement, it is to say not to jump the gun that ALL are such damaged goods when we find ourselves in this predicament. It is quite possible that the LBS was not so bad, and maybe, even too good. It's also possible that "being," "looking," "living," and "acting" (etc.) like an outstanding spouse and addressing the emotional needs of your fellow spouse to the highest potential humanly possible will never be good enough. Further, it is an obvious conclusion that both partners can contribute to the failure of the marriage. So why must we shove the whole kit-and-kabootle down the one spouse's throat that reaches out to this site (see previous three pages)?

Another thought along these lines. You must consider the delicate psyche of the person that reaches out. Just recently there was an issue with a suicidal post. I will tell you the truth, one response to my thread brought me to such agony, and made me so so sorry that I had reached to this site for help. When I read the post, the exact type of thoughts went though my mind as that of the recent poster I just mentioned. I knew I had to see my doctor, and did. I have held my situation inside my gut for years. I had never written it down in one place before. I was just mortified, this is all I can tell you. And I am fortunate to have excellent medical care - and the wherewithal to know when it's time to go for help. My point is, when one is laying out there backstory, it is naturally going to be lopsided - as it is the perception of a person that has been hurt by another. Again, that does not mean Broken needs to have a 2x4's shoved up his nostrils. His instincts are naturally defensive. Why does he need to get pushed and pushed and pushed?

I applaud your fortitude Mr. Broken, to keep standing in the face of what is referred to here as 2x4's. I found a few to be excessive, and one or two to could possibly contain a bit of anger. I really believe we must treat the individuals that seek assistance with more gentleness.

You cannot keep buying this wife - or anyone else. You already purchased her everything she wants, and that is that. Look how often you bring up the subject of what you have financed!

You know the famous Beatles song, "You Can't Buy Me Love," (even though everyone says it's so). I think this is very important for you to work on. To see your Wife's response to a hand made gift from you, would have been pricelessly informative. Maybe next time.

Broken, you are very important, and it is a special day, indeed! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, AND MANY MORE! Yas


PS Anyway, this is just another member's opinion, have a nice day.