This rainy weather is putting a damper on the litte PMA I had....

I got a job. Not enough money, but I'm approaching it as mearly a stepping stone to the next one and I can use this money to pay for my classes. I start next week... Really not sure how I feel about it, but at least my kids will still be with me (I'll be the director of a preschool.)

I calle H and got a less than enthusiastic "good job." I let him know we were having sloppy joes (S6's request) and that he was welcome to join us. H did come home, but ate separately from me and the boys. He gave the baby a bath-and expressed concerned about his bloated belly (I've been trying to tell H that the baby hasn't been feeling good- including waking up at 2am screaming and pulling up his legs.... We never went back to sleep.) H said that he meet had a problem in the 2 weeks I was gone (is he implying that *I* did something?!) I went to the pharmacy and got the Gripe water... As soon as I got back, H gathered his things and left.

He had beer in his hands, so I jokingly said: "planning a fun night,huh?" He reminded me that tomorrow is a federal holiday, so he didn't need to wake early. He also said he will be drinking with [friend] and will just crash at his place. I told him that I don't care where he goes, I just wantto know that he's safe. He grinned and left.

H has definitely avoided me like the plague this weekend. I realize that I had let my hopes get up since he's cut off OW contact, it's my own fault that I'm upset. I can't help but think that he will feel more attracted to her simply because he 'can't have her' right now. He didn't cut of contact because he *wanted* to, but because he was threatened... Now she'll become the 'fantasy life' that he'll mourn for.

ICK! I just realized that I will see her this weekend at her D16's (my goddaughter) talent show [look for her next year on American Idol!] I haven't seen D16 since before X-Mas and haven't seen OW since early January. Is it VA of me to want to look incredibly hot to make her feel guilty/jealous?? It has made me feel better that friends and family (and friends of friends who don't know me or H) have looked at her FB page and the statements usually go something like this: "really?! I don't see it. He's not getting an upgrade."

Uuuggggghhhhhh! It's just one of *those* nights smirk

M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12