What do you guys think about this sitch? You all know I have been the one in the M right now who is doing all the planning, the family events, the date nights, the cheerleading, etc.
I won't do it anymore. She just stopped by to see me before she heads out. Usually, as it is the weekend, I would be full of plans and ideas for us to do. I won't do it anymore. She can show me if she's ready to share a life with me. Let her suggest the plans. I know she met her friend this morning to go over some work ideas. Normally I would ask her how it went and do my best to be the rah rah guy for her. I'm not gonna ask anymore. I just spent a year by myself and was never asked once how my life is.
Also, I can see she's sick, run down and hurting. I'm not going to be the nursemaid for her as i normally would have been. I'm not making this decison to go in a new direction because I want to match her point for point. I am taking my life back and not letting her drag me down anymore. I know she's going to turn this all around and say I'm not trying, that I don't care anymore, that this is proof of why we shouldn't be together, that this is proof we can't communicate.
The fact is I do care. I'm steeping out of the way so she has the total freedom to figure her entire life out, know herself, choose what she wants and doesn't want in her life, and if she shows me she wants me in her life then I'm willing to hear what she has to say. Until then I'm walking down a new road and I am going to hit it full blast until my number comes up....sans speedo.
Rick - I think each of us has a breaking point. The point where we each say, ENOUGH! You have a unique sitch. Your W hasn't completely bailed on you, emotionally she has, but her physical presence seems to provide some glimmer of hope that she will eventually come around.
But, there is a limit or at least there should be a limit to how long one should endure a loveless relationship before moving on. It seems t me that you are now at the point and I think it is ok. You've waited a very long time. You've put in the time and energy with no real sense that your effort s being reciprocated.
I think its time for you to step out on that world stage and let everyone see the new and improved you.
I've always felt like we all have to take the last step, the one that says we are moving on, for our WAS to realize it is game time. Sh!t or get off the pot, IYKWIM. For some it happens in a matter of weeks or months. Others it is considerably longer.
You'll know when the time is right and it seems like that time for you is now.
Go embrace your future, Rick!
I'm doing it 2, FWIW I feel pretty good, but there's still a lot of fear and turmoil running through me. And, I have an idea of a point down the road when I will have to take the real big step, which is telling her that I'm moving on alone. Richt now she's just seeing it in the flesh but not with the full act of actually walking away. She's getting kind of the easy version right now.
