I'm sorry, I haven't had the time to go through and read up on everything with your sitch, but if I am correct is your W pregnant by the OM? If so, that must be the biggest slap in the face, ever. I actually have a friend who left her H for OM and got pg by him within a month and she and H hadn't even filed yet. Talk about hurtful!
Keep your chin up, you are doing a good thing by being a rock for your kids. They need that right now.
As for your W, I just shake my head.....
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤