Too Little Too Late.... part 7

[purgatory]

I'm glad to see that some of you have been inspired to renew our faith by our sitchs in the same way I have. I've never considered myself a churchy person- in fact, I usually only go to midnight mass with my grandma.
====================================
Tonight:
H left around 6:00, I don't know where- but he was carrying a big box (perhaps to work on his cabinet he's been building?) What really got me was when he left, he asked me to leave the chain off the door because he'll "be coming back later tonight." Peaked my curiosity, but I quickly squashed it and refocused on my kiddos. I came down with a nasty migraine, so dinner was a simple one and I laid on the couch with a blanket over my face while the boys played in the living room. I really wish there was someone else in the house so I could have excused myself to the quiet peace of my bedroom.... but no such luck. I managed to give them a bath and get to bed- all the while squinting and feeling like my brain was going to blow out the back of my head. I'm now sitting in the dark with my screen on the lowest bright setting.

I've been thinking a lot about H's odd statement's this morning (about the things he didn't like, but at the same time he basically said that he's *looking* for me to take action) Was that his way of letting me know what he's looking for? Does this mean he's possibly on the fence and considering? [I know, don't mind read or analyze.] I have some things coming to fruition soon, I hope that he sees the 'action' that he was hoping for... but in any case, these new endeavors are setting me up for my future. (don't want to jinx it, but I have a job lined up to start in about a week that will pay for my graduate classes I need to take.)

I still have a few procedures that need to be scheduled for my heart issues- and I hope to have those completed within the next month.

Thinking about something else... my H's LL is Physical Touch. How can I DB and at the same time, try to fill his love tank? I don't want to reach out to him and potentially make him uncomfortable.... but since being physical was such an issue for us, I want to show him that *that* part of our R would be better. I was thinking about waiting in the guest bed for him tonight in some new lingerie I had bought for my boudoir photos.... is that too pursuing? LOL!! It would be great to see the shock on his face- considering I NEVER wore anything like that to bed before.

His birthday is in 2 weeks... I had already bought a few things back at after X-mas sales (before the OW bomb). I've always gone overboard with birthdays (sent him on a PGA Golf Course tour around Florida with his brother last year) but I don't want to make him uncomfortable, so I'm trying to stay low key with only a few gifts.