Seize the Day!

[Jamesjohn]

Thanks for the clarification of your thoughts on this wiley!

I'm glad that you've found the LRT thread useful. I know that it's something that I have to refer back to myself every once in awhile, just to keep in focus!

As you can probably tell, I'm not a real big advocate of "dating" while DB'ing. Although there may be many who have gone on to successfully reconcile their marriages while "seeing" other people, in my point of view, it can just add another obstacle to overcome in the process.

I do agree with you that is often very important to send a strong message that "Yes, I'm OK without you". Far too often, our partners may see us as "weak" and "clingy" and "needy", which can definitely be a major turn-off, and add undo pressure on them. In this respect, it can really benefit us to start doing the things it takes to "get a life", so to speak, and once again be "attractive" in the eyes of our partners. There are, however, many other ways to accomplish this goal.

Dating as a "tactic" can often hold a lot of hidden dangers. Although it can sometimes work to make our partners "jealous", it can OFTEN take a different twist. It can send mixed signals and messages which are impossible to predict, and hold a strong chance of backfiring on us.

IMHO, "dating" falls into the last, last, last, last resort technique category. Not as a "technique" or a "tactic", but as something you do when you are satisfied that you have done everything you could to reconcile with your partner, you have no interest in being married to them any longer, and you are ready to totally move on without them.

I don't want to tie up Cindy's thread here too much, so these are just my brief thoughts on the subject. I'm sure that this topic could fill up a couple of threads all on it's own!! Thanks for your thoughts on the subject, wiley! We've probably given Cindy WAY too much to ponder over on THIS thread!!