Hi BM, So good to hear your perspective. Love the way you 'tell it like it is'!
I did tell him that I appreciated the fact that he'd put in the time and effort to progress our discussion about finances by going to the lawyer.
He looked uncomfortable and deflected, saying "No need to thank me; stop it".
And yes, my lawyer will be the bad guy in this. It will all be his suggestion, rather than mine.
Although my H has already seen this coming.
When I asked him not to go down the path of involving lawyers because I didn't want things to get adversarial, he said that lawyers are only hired hands. They only do what their clients ask them to do, so things don't have to be adversarial. So he's going to interpret whatever my lawyer says and does as a direct reflection of my instructions.
Your point about my H needing help is well taken. After the shock of this letter, I have been plagued by thoughts that he has just been conning me for money since the start of our relationship - fuelled by my insecurities about being older than him, I suppose.
I'm still not really at the point of being convinced that he is, simply, a con man. He does seem completely out of touch with reality, confused and lost.
Thanks so much for checking in on me and for your great support.
