Wife in "D - freight train mode" Pt.2

[BFloat]

here's the flip side.. i am extremely careful with what i say because i've learned over the years that once something is said.. it can not be taken back. so in my M, i would often remain silent.. choosing to ponder and word things in my head before actually saying it.

i think what happens there is that you begin to surpress a lot of issues (thinking it's not a big deal when in fact it is) and then the silent resentment and mistrust just builds.

so there you go..

and now i'm trying to learn to communicate better where i voice my needs in a loving, non judgemental way.. in a way where the other person is free to say no (my H often said yes went he meant no and then resented me) and i don't feel rejected.

very hard lessons.