Live your life as those he is already gone. The only way to get through this is to create a happy life without him. If he comes around, he comes around. If he doesn't you still have a happy life. Don't put you happiness in the hands of OW, the military, your H, OW's H, you need to control your happiness.
This is one of the toughest things you may ever do but you can do it!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss