I have no idea. Things continue to be crazy. I talked to her the other night about us divorcing. She said that we just can't get along. I told her that we need to learn how to communicate with each other. We fight about the same thing. I ask what it is she doesn't like...she tells me, "i've told you a million times"...I tell her that that really isn't telling me anything...she says that I'm on her a$$ all the time...I tell her that that is a broad statement...she gets mad.
It's the same routine. I don't know what her motivation is but she said that we need to get a third party involved to help us sort this out...she told me to find a counselor and make and appointment. She told me that her heart is not in it, and the only reason she wants to work on us is for the kids. I asked her if her heart is not in it then why is she doing it. she said she doesn't know. I asked her if she's doing it to get me to go away, or if she's going to try at all...she said, "I said I would so just make the appointment".
She said that she doesn't want a divorce for the both of us but that she feels like there's no other choice so she is just accepting it.
not too long ago she was saying she wouldn't go to counseling because they would "brainwash" her into loving me again. \
I'm reading books about detaching and codependency. They are helping me a lot.
I think we're kind of in the same boat Jenna333. My W and I started dating when we were 16, got married at 20, have two kids and we're now 32 years old.
I don't know why I still want to be married after everything that has happened. I do though. I'm sure you understand what I mean when I say that she feels apart of me. I don't want the person she's turned into, nor do I want my old marriage back.
I'm not angry about anything she's done. I don't feel like she has been in her right mind. Oddly, I understand. It hurts really, really bad. But I've committed to forgive her whether we reconcile or not. Anger and unforgiveness just isn't worth it I suppose.
All in all, I don't think she knows what she wants. I've offered to give her her divorce on two occasions and both times she's said she doesn't want that. She won't file for divorce either. Her heart isn't into working on us, but she continues to agree to work on it. Cake-eating? Maybe.
I've rambled enough...hope things are going well for you.
